Paradise is a place where everything is perfect where: Everyone is admitted regardless of faith No person who has harmed a body, mind, or soul is admitted One does not have to die to reach Paradise
This is a great word to define. The only thing that I would clarify more would be what exactly perfect is and how it can apply to 'everybody' at the same time. Awesome pick though!
I would clarify what "place" and "perfect" mean because there is not one definition. With regards to place, does one need to be alone, indoors/outdoors, etc.? Just something to consider. I think that you have strong qualifiers though!
Since you mentioned that no person is admitted if they've harmed another person, you should change "everyone is admitted regardless of faith" since it's contradicting. Other than that, I like your definition and your qualifiers are support it well.
I love your word choice. Great simple def. and qualifiers. Make it more creditable and persuasive, I think you will have an interesting paper. Good luck!
Very arguable topic, good job! You really know what you want to say, and it shows. I would argue that perfection is impossible... so perhaps counter that argument.
I think that there are a lot of holes in this argument. Is paradise real? how does it make sure "No person who has harmed a body, mind, or soul is admitted"? is there paradise in the eyes of the beholder?
This topic seems very strange to me! You have to be "admitted" into paradise? Who does that? Anticipate the argument that paradise is not a place, but a state of mind!
I feel like your qualifiers may in a way contradict each other. The first two make it seem as though you speak of a paradise after life because people will be 'admitted' but the last one says its not all based on death. I think if you clarify throughout your paper it will make more sense, but at this stage it is a little bit confusing. Good job though!
I feel like everyone said what I am going to say but I would define what is perfect? I think you need to be a little specific. Also when you say a Place, what kind of place is it?? Is it in a middle of know where, an in island or what?? Also for some reason I feel like your qualifiers don't support you definitions.I might be wrong, but I would define what is Paradise a little more, and pick good qualifiers.
sounds really good if you want you could incorporate utopia into your definition just to give it some creative word choice if not it still sounds fine.
This is a very arguable topic. It's one of those things that contradicts itself. Like life being so perfect, it becomes too perfect and becomes the opposite of perfect. You're at a good start. Good luck.
This is a great word to define. The only thing that I would clarify more would be what exactly perfect is and how it can apply to 'everybody' at the same time. Awesome pick though!
ReplyDeleteI really like your definition and I think your headed onto the right direction so far.
ReplyDeleteDefine what you meant for the word "perfect" and you will be good with your essay!
ReplyDeleteI would clarify what "place" and "perfect" mean because there is not one definition. With regards to place, does one need to be alone, indoors/outdoors, etc.? Just something to consider. I think that you have strong qualifiers though!
ReplyDeleteI like your qualifiers and agree the fact that you should simplify your definition.
ReplyDeleteWHat is perfect? Is it a real place? A place that can be in your mind? Be a little more specific.
ReplyDeleteSince you mentioned that no person is admitted if they've harmed another person, you should change "everyone is admitted regardless of faith" since it's contradicting. Other than that, I like your definition and your qualifiers are support it well.
ReplyDeletei meant *your qualifiers support it well
ReplyDeleteI love your word choice. Great simple def. and qualifiers. Make it more creditable and persuasive, I think you will have an interesting paper. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteVery arguable topic, good job! You really know what you want to say, and it shows. I would argue that perfection is impossible... so perhaps counter that argument.
ReplyDeleteI think that there are a lot of holes in this argument. Is paradise real? how does it make sure "No person who has harmed a body, mind, or soul is admitted"? is there paradise in the eyes of the beholder?
ReplyDeleteThis topic seems very strange to me! You have to be "admitted" into paradise? Who does that? Anticipate the argument that paradise is not a place, but a state of mind!
ReplyDeleteReally good argument! Your going to have to think about the opposed view of your argument and you'll have enough that your paper will be long enough
ReplyDeleteI feel like your qualifiers may in a way contradict each other. The first two make it seem as though you speak of a paradise after life because people will be 'admitted' but the last one says its not all based on death. I think if you clarify throughout your paper it will make more sense, but at this stage it is a little bit confusing. Good job though!
ReplyDeleteYour definition and qualifiers are perfect for this assignment. They are arguable but extremely supported at the same time. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI feel like everyone said what I am going to say but I would define what is perfect? I think you need to be a little specific. Also when you say a Place, what kind of place is it?? Is it in a middle of know where, an in island or what?? Also for some reason I feel like your qualifiers don't support you definitions.I might be wrong, but I would define what is Paradise a little more, and pick good qualifiers.
ReplyDeletesounds really good if you want you could incorporate utopia into your definition just to give it some creative word choice if not it still sounds fine.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very arguable topic. It's one of those things that contradicts itself. Like life being so perfect, it becomes too perfect and becomes the opposite of perfect. You're at a good start. Good luck.
ReplyDeletethat is arguable definition good start the word everybody helps make it more strong, besides from everyone being perfect i don't agree
ReplyDeleteI think that "perfect" is too broad. maybe be more specific on that. interesting qualifiers. Simple definition could be more specific.
ReplyDelete