Anna Klein- What is a Father?

Everyone deserves to have a caring father. Throughout time fathers have been portrayed as the head of the family. They protect their children and show them they ways of life. Children look up to their fathers and use them as a guide through life. A Father is a influential male figure in the a persons life, he does not have to be biological, needs to be a primary caregiver and protector to the child, frequently present in the life of the child, always there to support a child emotionally.

Some people believe that anyone can be a father but it takes a special person to actually fill the role of a father. The goal of this definition is to show what it takes to truly be seen as a father. This definition is directed to people children or people that feel they do not have a father. To prove that not everyone can be a father, there are qualifications. The qualifications are guidelines that show how a true father can impact a child’s life. A biological parent is not always considered a father.

A man does not always have to be biological to be considered a father to a child. There are many cases where the biological parent of a child cannot fill the role of a father. Yes there is a special genial bond between a biological father and his child but if he cannot fill the role of a father, in being a guide through life, then a male figure can step in and fill that role of a father. For example, if the biological father leaves the child then he is not there in the child’s life as they grow up so he is not the father of a child. Because he isn’t in the child’s life to be an influential person, he isn’t there to help the child develop. It is important for a father to be in a developing child’s life. “ When a fathers interact with their children, they spend more of their time than do mothers in physical play” (Lilenfeld, 389). This physical play with their child is very important for the developing child. When a father plays with their child they bond and develop a trusting relationship and can create the same type of bond that a biological father would have with their child. With a strong relationship comes the need to protect and care for loved ones.

Another crucial role of a father is being a primary caregiver and protector. Fathers are seen as the “man of the house” someone who sets household rules to protect his family. They may be seen as stern but they do everything with their family’s best interest in mind. A child without this protection and care can easily take the wrong path in life and cause trouble. “Both boys and girls are less likely to be able to delay gratification, have poor impulse control over anger and sexual

gratification, and have a weaker sense of right and wrong (Hetherington & Martin, 1979)” (Allen, 4). Without a father to show his children the difference between right and wrong and to set rules children are unable to distinguish these important factors in life. Children need a father to set guidelines and care for them throughout life; they need to see a positive role model to ensure they achieve their full potential growing up. In order to be a primary caregiver and protector a father must be frequently present in a growing child’s life.

If a father is not frequently present in a child’s life he can’t be considered a father. If there is not frequent contact between a father and his child then he is not filling the role of a father. He needs to be there to present a positive role model to his child. A requirement like this rules helps prove that not everyone can be considered a father. Just because someone on television or in a book has a positive influence on a child it does not make him a father. A father must be close to the child and frequently in their life. A close bond between a father and child is important a child’s development. For example “Girls Having a good relationship with their father can have an impact on their self-esteem and sense of identity, especially while they are teenagers” (Barrows, 4). If a father is close to his child then the child feels loved and has a since of worth allowing them more confidence. If a father is constantly missing from a child’s life he is missing that connection that allows the child to feel confident. Emotional support is also a very important role a father must play.

Children need to grow up with a supportive father one that can support them emotionally. If a father is unable to support his child then he is not completely filling the role of a father. As children grow up they encounter hard situations, or have questions. A father needs to be able to answer those questions and support the child through any difficult situations. By talking to his children a father can provide important information to his child on how to succeed in life. A father can teach his child about strangers, lying, and even getting married. In America culture fathers play a large role in their daughter getting married. “Someday some boy will come and ask me for your hand but I wont say yes to him unless I know he has the half that makes you whole” (McGraw). A man who wishes to marry a girl often goes to her father to ask for her hand in marriage. A father knows what’s best for his daughter and will only give her away if he knows she will be well cared for. By emotionally supporting his child a father is also providing protection and giving them knowledge of the world around them.

Being a father is not just a title anyone can have, it is earned. It takes a special person to truly fill the role of a father. A man needs to have a positive influence on the life of his child, and fill qualifications to truly be seen as a father. A father does not need to be a biological parent; some biological parents are not role models and are not fit as a father. He needs to be in a child’s life as they grow up and develop and if that happens to be someone who is not the biological father, then the man who can fill that qualification can be considered as the father. He also needs to be a primary caregiver and protector in a child’s life. If a father does not create a caring protecting household for his child he is not being a father and his children may be at risk for things like crime. A father needs to be in a child life frequently as they grow and develop. Someone like a television character is not a father because they are not actually there for the child helping them grow up and providing them with a positive role model. Fathers also must be able to support their children emotionally. Without emotional support a child may not learn important facts about life. A father needs to be a positive figure in a child’s life and help them in every step of their life.