Friend and Trust - Khoa Nguyen

Friend and Trust

http://doostaan.wordpress.com/category/trust/

Having a friend has always been an important part of everyday life. From childhood to adulthood, all people have friends, lose friends, and make

new friends; from century to century, people develop more and more definitions for friend. The similar interests, the mutual respects, and the strong attachments between people are the general traits of what two or more individuals must have in order to build a friendship. But did you know that the word “friend” could also be defined in one simple word, trust? A friend is someone who is meant to be trusted, they are the people whom you can trust and share secrets with, whom you trust that they will always be on your side and support you, whom you trust that they will always be attentive and care about you.

Through centuries, the definition of friend had changed so many times that almost all of the people on this planet have their own definition of a friend; and that’s why a lot of times, people could mistake other people they meet everyday as their so called “friends”, the people who you never have enough trusts to share your secrets with them. Having a friend is not simply having a "relationship” with that person whom you know and talk to, or dealing with in school, in a profession or in other casual acquaintances. But instead, having a friend simply means that you have a person you can trust, and therefore, you can share your thoughts and feelings with that person in a way of comfort and safety. That’s why the definition of friend needs to be unified, needs to be more specific as someone who is meant to be trusted, so different people with different thoughts of friend’s definition will not mistake about the people whom they called friends anymore.

http://childrenfirstnetwork.blogspot.com/2011/06/imperfect-and-proud-of-it.html

As always, friendship cannot exist without the aspect of trust. Like Walter Anderson had said, “Trust is like a vase…once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again” (World of Quotes, http://www.worldofquotes.com/author/Walter+Anderson/1/index.html), it shows that trust really is a cornerstone of a friendship. Once the trust is broken, it is almost impossible to recover completely. People usually say “Forgive but don’t forget” which means that they will still forgive the person for what he/she did, however, they will also start protecting themselves from getting hurt once again.

http://www.sodahead.com/living/how-would-you-feel-if-you-found-out-your-best-friend-doesnt-trust-you/question-924803/?link=ibaf&q=friendship+and+trust&imgurl=http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000924803/i_dont_care_answer_2_xlarge.jpeg

The trust in friendship can be expressed in so many different ways. First, let’s talk about trust as a secret of a person. That happens when a person tells you their secrets, it means that you are their friend because they believe in you; they know that no matter what happens, you will not disclose their secrets to anyone. An example that can give more details on that is the “surviving letter” of Beethoven wrote to one of his long-time friend Franz Wegeler (who married Eleonore von Beuning) on the 29^th of June, 1800. In the letter, he said, “I may say that I live a wretched existence. For almost two years I have avoided all social gatherings because it is impossible for me to tell the people I am deaf. If my vocation were anything else it might be more endurable, but under the circumstances the condition is terrible; besides what would my enemies say, - they are not few in number! ... I beg you not to tell anyone about this; don't say even a word to Lorchen [Eleonore]. I only tell it you as a secret” (Franz Wegeler, http://www.awesomestories.com/assets/franz-wegeler). Nobody knows that Beethoven was a deaf musician at that time; he only shared his secret with the person that he trusted, his friend, Franz Wegeler. As you can see, the trust in a friendship here is very important; it is the belief, the loyal of an individual toward another individual.

Trusted friend can also be expressed as a supportive friend. Some people might oppose to this because they think that supportive friends are just “friends with benefits”, but in the truth, they are the people who can be supportive to you as difficult times come but they will also know how to keep a distinct distance between themselves and your matters. They know how to help you reach your goal and be the person you want to be; they will always try to be seemed as a trustworthy person, a credible source to you so that you can believe them and ask them for help whenever you need. But when hard times come, when they know that you need to be left alone, they will back away and give that extra space for you to breathe. You can trust them that they will not ever try to change who you are, or drag you into situation that makes you uncomfortable, or put you at risk of losing something that matters to you. That’s how a friendship becomes stronger and stronger. For example, a true story from a website called “Red Book” talks about the unbreakable friendship between two Army wives, Lisa and Diana (Friends For Life, http://www.redbookmag.com/health-wellness/advice/friends-for-life-3); after Lisa’s husband, an Army soldier, was killed in Iraq, Diana was the only one there who stayed and took care of Lisa’s depressions. Lisa was truly thankful for Diana’s helps to get her over that difficult time, now she knows (believes) that Diana will always be there for her no matter what will happen. Like Walter Winchell had said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out” (Friendship, http://www.friendship.com.au/quotes/quofri.html), it shows the trust between two individuals or more in a friendship can also be expressed as support.

http://www.sodahead.com/living/how-would-you-feel-if-you-found-out-your-best-friend-doesnt-trust-you/question-924803/?link=ibaf&q=friendship+and+trust&imgurl=http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000924803/i_dont_care_answer_2_xlarge.jpeg

The third way for trust in a friendship can be expressed is the individual must be attentive. Did you know that greetings could also be an important ingredient in making a strong friendship? Those greetings such as “Hi, How are you”, “Hey, How’s your day going so far?”…maybe seems like nothing to you but for some people, they are very important in their friendship because those people believe that when a person they know says these things to them, it means that that person cares about them, that person is really their “true” friend, they have a trust in that. And this is how an attentive friend can be defined as a trusted friend. Whether you believe in this or not, you can try this on your own, come to an old friend of yours (or maybe even a new friend) and say “Hi”, they will smile back at you immediately because you are a friend whom they can trust.

The simple definition of a friend is someone who is meant to be trusted can also be expressed easily in an image. It is a picture of three silver rings overlapping on each other beautifully. And also, three words: “Friendship”, “Love”, “Trust” are engraved nicely onto each of the rings making them more meaningful. This shows that friendship, trust and love had always and will always come and go together no matter what. If one of them is missing, the chain will be broken and can never be fixed again. Either they will come together or they will go away together!

Also, in another article named “What Are Friends For? A Longer Life” (The New York Times, http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/21/health/21well.html), says that nowadays, the researchers are starting to pay attention to the importance of friendship and social networks in overall health, they found out that older people with a large circle of friends who they can trust to talk and share their feelings with have less percentage of dying than those who have fewer friends but never talk about anything “personally”. This also helps to show that trust is the main and most important ingredient in making a friendship stronger hence longer, maybe eternally.

In conclusion, the simplest united definition of a friend is someone who is meant to be trusted by means of their loyalness, supportiveness, and attentiveness. Loyalness is a very important ingredient in building a strong relationship between people, especially in friendship. With the state of you being loyal to another person, it is much more comfortable and easier for them to share their secrets with you because they trust you. A supportive friend does not simply mean that they will always support you every time, but they will also when to back up, give you room to breathe when they know that you are “annoyed” and in need of to be alone, and you trust them for that. Finally, being attentive to each other in a friendship will always refresh everything, it will make the friendship seems newer and stronger everyday because people trust each other for that. “As eternally, friendship cannot exist without the aspect of trust” (Nguyen, Page 1), no one will disagree with this because trust is the most important part of a friendship; without trust, there will not be any friendship presents.

Works Cited

Bos, Carole D. Beethoven – Franz Wegeler-Trusted Friend. Awesome Stories. March 2009. Web. 10 Oct. 2011. .

Parker, Tara. What Are Friends For? A Longer Life. The New York Times. Health. 20 Apr. 2009. Web. 10 Oct. 2011. <http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/21/health/21well.html>.

Dahl, Julia. Friends For Life. Redbook. Web. Page 3-4. 11 Oct. 2011. .

World of Quotes. 14 Famous Quotes By Walter Anderson. Web. 11 Oct. 2011. <http://www.worldofquotes.com/author/Walter+Anderson/1/index.html>.

“The Friendship Page”. Friendship Quotes: General. Web. 11 Oct. 2011. < http://www.friendship.com.au/quotes/quofri.html>.

“Love:Friendship:Trust-Essentia”. Photograph. DeviantART. 7 Jul. 2008. Web.11 Oct. 2011. .