Family Extends Beyond Common Lineage - Brittany Fernandes

Over the course of a person’s life, they may partake in various relationships with their relatives, friends, and animal companions which cannot be appropriately defined as an ordinary friendship, since the level of familiarity exceeds those of between casual friends. If attention is paid to the amount of consideration and understanding which is an integral part of those relationships, a majority would consider them akin to the relationships shared between those in a family. With that said, a family consists of people who are related or live together as demonstrated through acts of consideration towards one another and the ability to support each other in the midst of hardships.                                                                                                                    

As it has steadily become increasingly customary for children to move out, usually around the age of adulthood, many a parent has witnessed a gradually increasing divide between themselves and their child. Which is not to say that the child no longer consider their parents and their immediate relatives as family, but upon leaving the homestead, the child must now build connections with those who are currently around them, and sometimes those connections become lasting relationships.                                                                                                               

Additionally, if the definition of the word family were to be constricted solely to the definition of a nuclear family which consists of “parents and their offspring” (“Nuclear Family”, http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/nuclear family) how could a couple ready to settle down define itself? Or even an apartment whose inhabitants understand one another better than each individual understands their respective self? How would this apply to the family pet that everyone loves and tolerates? Each example directs itself towards addressing how the traditional definition of a family or nuclear family has become increasingly inadequate.                                      

Besides a common mailing address and/or similar lineage, a common trait among families is the sense of care that is at times almost tangible. Such as a fear from a single-parent that while they try their hardest to provide for their child, their hardest efforts to compensate may still be the equivalent of failing their child (Krell, 870). Another indication could be the roles of “best friend to child” (Turner, 12) which a pet can be considered to fill for their owners who could range from a multitude of ages, each with their own expectation for the pet. Through these roles, while the pet can provide a variety of comforts towards its owners from companionship to assisting in developing their sense of maturity, it also the owner’s responsibility to reciprocate. The reciprocation of affection usually occurs in the form feeding them, bathing them, and letting them exercise. Many would argue that this reciprocation is merely provided due to the pet’s inability to provide for itself, while that may be true to some extent, the care is provided under an understanding that each member in this symbiotic relationship is assisting the other due to a common understanding. Each participant of the relationship understands that in addition to the care they provide the other with, such as the ability of the pet to “improve their [owner’s] physical health” (Turner, 17), an overall benefit comes with the companionship of another being, whether it be human or not.                                                                                                                              

In addition to the companionship, families can also convey consideration through a hope towards witnessing the others succeed. At a young age, many would associate a child’s ability to learn with their parent’s involvement in their scholarly life. While that may be true in some instances, an integral part of what helps children succeed even at an early age are the friends they make (Eybergen). As their  education progresses, while it sad to acknowledge, children proceed where they feel they have familiarity which is why during important years, such as choosing a high school or college, youth are more likely to follow where their friends.  Critics may see this as false since during the college years, while moving into a dorm may seem daunting, many claim that college is truly a time of freedom and self-expression and that those students who progress onwards tend to go wherever they get the best offer which they may or may not be able to afford in the long run. As true as that is, it is however equally plausible that during a child’s youth as impressionable as they are, the ability to step away from the popular opinion may almost seem impossible to a third grader who only wants to have somewhere to sit at lunch. It is also equally likely that as the youth becomes an adult and maintains contact with some of their childhood friends, that their friends opinions do still play an part in their decision making or even the support which those friends offer can truly be what keeps the youth pushing through a difficult situation or a difficult course load.                                                                                  

   

  Consideration is truly an integral part of family ties, but words aside, actions speak louder than words, which is why support is also another important qualifier for family. Support from one’s peers during schooling, even at a young age, has been discussed as influential towards assisting the child to develop necessary social skills for later on in life (Elias, and Haynes 477). Later on in life, when the youth is no longer living with their family, their current surrounding peers slowly become similar to family. During the time of promotions or even the loss of the family pet, although the youth may yearn to spend that time with their close relatives, sometimes transportation cannot be made available or time off cannot be utilized. It is through this sense of familiarity that the youth then can turn to their known peers, such as a roommate, to confide in for support. Which may seem contradictory to some since if there is another person who can help remedy the pain or loss, would it not seem more appropriate to find a way to contact them? The trouble in that idea arises from the possibility that while that other option may exist, the person in need of assistance and their preferred person to talk to may have consistently conflicting schedules. If that is the case, for the common good of the roommates, it is highly within their interest to assist the person who can be experiencing grief from a loss or general stress. 

                                 

As children leave the homestead earlier then they may have in previous generations, the definition of family has also had to adjust itself to the current times. In some families, some of their members could readily appreciate more assistance than others as seen through the relationship between a pet and their master. Through that relationship, a bond is created that rivals those between siblings and parent- children relationships due to a mutual sense of comfort since pets have been known to fill many roles depending on the age of their owners, from a best friend to sometimes even a child (Turner, 12). While others may consider the relationship between friends or those living in close proximity more along the lines as good friends, in times of hardship there are those who confide so often that the title of a good friend seems lacking due to the depth which ordinary friendship tends to hold. A sense of caring exists with those friendships in that when friends become akin to family,  the care which they provide the others extends farther than the casual email to check  in. With that said, a family extends beyond blood relatives and into the realm of well known people and pets who are related or live together who display a deep sense of caring towards the others which can even extend to providing assistance in less fortunate times.

Works Cited

"nuclear family." Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition. HarperCollins Publishers. 16 Oct. 2011. <Dictionary.comhttp://dictionary.reference.com/browse/nuclear family>.

Krell, R. "Problems of the Single-Parent Family Unit." Canadian Medical Association Journal. 107.9 (1972): 867-72. Print

Turner, Wendy. "The Role of Companion Animals Throughout the Family Life Cycle." Journal of Family Social Work. 9.4 (2005): 11-21. Print.

Eybergen, Dylan. "Teaching Children How to Make Friends at School: How Social Relationships Contribute to School Success ."Dylan Eybergen Coach Apparent, Ltd.. Wordpress, 10/03/2011. Web. 17 Oct. 2011. <http://dyaneybergen.com/919/teaching-children-how-to-make-friends-at-schoolhow-social-relationships-contribute-to-school-success/>.

Elias, Maurice, and Norris Haynes. "Social Competence, Social Support, and Academic Achievement in Minority, Low-Income, Urban Elementary School Children." School Psychology Quarterly. 23.4 (2008): 474-95. Print.

http://www.braintrack.com/college-and-work-news/articles/more-on-campus-housing-at-commuter-schools-11020101

http://www.mrglassinc.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/family-and-pet-dog.jpg

http://www.momlogic.com/2009/04/toddler_group_angst.php

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1611919,00.html