Essence of Love - Paresa Bighash

Images

 Works Cited 

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The essence of life revolves around the feeling of love. It is human nature that drives us to love our family, friends, and partners. As long as a person lives, everyday acts as a chase for this particular feeling. This broad topic is very visible amongst every individual not only because the idea is widely accepted, but also because each person’s definition arises out of personal experience. The common definition of love is a “strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties” (Webster). This definition is somewhat foreign to new generations just being introduced to the idea of love. Youthful groups are the only people who have yet to grasp all experiences of love, and, by hearing this definition, will reap a general idea of what love is about. Of course the original definition of love is agreeable; however, it lacks the aspect of the actual feeling of love. Love is an emotional attachment between a person and something or somebody significant in their life that is unbreakable, unconditional, and addicting.

Love is not just a word, it is an idea;  A feeling to which each person experiences differently.  Previous definitions explain the word, but do not explain the feeling.  Love has a strong effect on life, one of which younger generations are not fully aware of yet.  Yes, they experience love for their friends and family, which in a sense is the same as love for a romantic partner; however, they do not know the extent to which love can stretch. This definition will give a better understanding of not just the word, but the feeling of love. This feeling stems from attachment.

Love is an emotional attachment that is part of human nature. The human brain is hardwired to love. Once a person truly loves, it is rare that it is broken by or laced with  a condition. According to Dr. Alan Eppel “the drive to attach is fundamental to human nature” (Eppel). If it is part of human nature to attach, the attachment will not be easily broken because attachment resembles addiction.

Love’s addicting aspect is represented through the feeling that a person simply cannot be without the people or things he/she loves. As part of human nature, love is a necessity. This necessary attachment in a way engulfs people’s characters, changing the way they live through their actions, thoughts, and perceptions. This is especially true in young adults first falling in love. According to Wendy Austin, young love consumes, obsesses, and possesses an individual to the point where the person they love is
 literally all that is on their minds (Austin, pg.121). However, this addiction is not limited to just young lovers. The love a person has for their parents resembles addiction’s engulfing characteristics by causing him or her to act with somewhat of a conscience that keeps them from doing bad things. The love a person has for a husband or wife does the same, keeping individuals who are truly in love from adultery and deceit. Love acts as a drug, overpowering the way we think, feel, and act all because of a deep emotional attachment.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs illustrates the significance of all things needed to survive. After physiological and safety needs, humans begin showing signs of a need for love; “you begin to feel the need for friends, a sweetheart, children, affectionate relationships in general, even a sense of community” (Boeree, pg. 1). This need for attachment to something or someone is inevitable. When humans need something, they savor and use every last bit of it. Focusing every last bit of human emotion on the necessity of love enables the lover to fall deep, drawing them into what is addictive. Once humans become addicted to the thing they love, their love for that thing soon becomes unbreakable and unconditional.

Some people believe that it is possible for love to be broken. However, true love, whether between a man and a woman or a mother and a daughter, is too powerful to ever break. Of course time is of essence. Over time feelings will change, but true love will never fade. Those who have fallen in love and have gotten hurt may mask their broken heart with sadness or anger. The end result, however, is a remaining tender spot for the loved one that will never go away. Another instance of love being unbreakable is through the experience of death. Losing a family member for good does not conclude with lost love. No matter the time, one will always love and miss the person who used to be such a significant part of his or her life. Losing someone is not equal to losing love.

Many romantic films demonstrate the strength of true love. After years of separation and silence, true love still lingers for as long as one can imagine. The Notebook is a romantic film of two young teens that fall in a deep love. The young lady, Allie, is forced to move away and her love with Noah is silenced for years at a time. This excerpt from the script illustrates the unbreakable trait of true love:

Young Allie: Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it's too late.
Young Noah: I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year.
Young Allie: You wrote me?
Young Noah: Yes... it wasn't over, it still isn't over (Leven).


No matter the distance or the years that passed, the people that got in the way or entered their solitary lives, Noah and Allie’s love is simply too strong to break.
Just because a heart is broken does not infer that love is broken. Along with love’s unbreakable aspect, it is also fair to say that love is unconditional.

Love’s unconditional aspect pertains to resistance of any situational influence in one’s love toward another person or thing. No matter what, “In sickness or in health” (“Bible.org”), love will withstand anything. From a parent to a pet, the love that humans feel for something or someone stands with armor to everything that could go wrong. If the youngest son in a family gets an under-aged DUI charge, regardless of the anger felt by his parents, he will nonetheless still be loved. If a mother gives birth to a child with down syndrome, her love for her new born not be dimmed just because things did not go as expected. If a man’s wife gets in a car accident and is paralyzed for the rest of her life, his love for her will not be persuaded by all the negative changes. Love is not altered by defects, but only made stronger.

The Notebook illustrates this aspect entirely through the story line itself. The narrator is an aged Noah. At this age Allie has Alzheimer's, and Noah reads her the story of their lives together everyday with intentions of restoring her memory. The final lines of the film illustrate that this defect of life only strengthens their love which takes them to the other side as they ‘fall asleep’ in the same hospital bed.

“Allie: Do you think our love, can take us away together?
Duke: I think our love can do anything we want it to.
Allie: I love you.
Duke: I love you, Allie.
Allie: Good night.
Duke: Good night. I'll be seeing you” (Leven).

Unconditional love, like in Noah and Allie’s case, has no boundaries simply because it is such a deep attachment.

Humans need love to survive. For this reason, people search for things to attach to and develop true feelings for. Some lovely feelings come automatically, like a bond between blood. Others come with time of getting to know someone or something, causing attachment with a difference than that of the attachment to parents. In the end, however, no love will be lost whether it is love for a partner or love for a parent. Over time, love may weaken, but until the day of pass, a spot for that person or thing will remain tender in a lovers heart. Regardless of what happens through out a life time, love is also never influenced. Real love will withstand any storm and come out stronger in the end. All these aspects are brought into the idea of love through the fact of a human necessity for attachment. After developing an emotional attachment so strong that it alters the way one lives, love soon begins to resemble an addiction. The more a person falls into the addiction of love, the more unbreakable and unconditional the feeling becomes.






Works Cited

Austin, Wendy. First Love: The Adolescent's Experience of Amour. 18. New York: Peter Lang, 2003. 121-141. Print.

Boeree, George. "Abraham Maslow." Personal Theories. N.p., 2006. Web. 11 Oct 2011. http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/maslow.html>.

Eppel, Alan. Sweet Sorrow: Love, Loss, and Attachment in Human Life. Karnac Books, 2009. Web. http://www.docstoc.com/docs/47629238/Understanding-the- need-to-be-loved.

Leven, Jeremy, Dir. The Notebook. Dir. Nick Cassavetes. Perf. Garner, James. 2004. Film.

"Sample Marraige Vows." Bible.org. N.p., 2011. Web. 11 Oct 2011. http://bible.org/article/sample-wedding-vows.

Webster, Merriam. Webster. Britannica, Web. <http://www.merriam- webster.com/dictionary/love>.