This is not your typical time travel narrative. No H.G. Wells protagonists to be found, traversing the space time continuum. Leave your preconceived notions and your (perhaps well placed) skepticism at the door. It almost sounds like the introduction to an episode of the ‘Twilight Zone’.
The year 1935, Edinburgh, Scotland, the witness to a paranormal phenomenon none other than the father of the British Royal Air Force, Victor Goddard, this particular incident involved what is known as a time-slip. These “slips” are defined when the present and past interlace with one another. Though, the event is usually unnoticed by the individuals residing in the “times of yore”.
Goddard’s case occurred while he was on route from Edinburgh, Scotland in his Hawker Hart biplane to Andover, England, where he was stationed at the time. Instead of taking a undeviating path to Andover, Victor decided to fly over an abandoned airfield in Drem, Scotland. The neglected airfield was overrun with foliage, the hangars decrepit and crumbling, bovines grazing where planes once stood.
Passing over the derelict airstrip, he suddenly encountered a peculiar storm, the powerful winds in these peculiar brown-yellow clouds caused Goddard to lose control of his craft. Scarcely averting a crash he discovered that his plane was headed in the opposite direction.As abruptly as it began, the storm ended, leaving him sporadically blinking in the brilliant sunlight. Flying above the forsaken field once again, he was astonished to discover it was no longer so forlorn. Previously dilapidated hangers looked like new, four planes sat idly on the strip, three models familiar, their paintjob foreign (colored in a bright yellow). The fourth plane was a monoplane, which the RAF (Royal Air Force) lacked. Mechanics were garbed in bright blue overalls though the RAF’s wore brown.Evacuating the unfamiliar sight, Goddard again encountered the curious cumulonimbus formation, but eventually managed his return to Andover. Four years proceeding Victor’s paranormal incident, the Royal Air Force began painting their planes yellow, and enlisted the very model he had witnessed, a monoplane. That same year, the mechanics’ uniforms were changed to the electric blue of his vision. Somehow he had achieved the inexplicable, Goddard had traveled, albeit briefly, four years into the future.Perhaps time isn’t as constant as we’re lead to believe it is; perhaps the past, present, and future coexists on the same plane. Even supposedly genius scientists, such as Albert Einstein insisted that time was hardly as stable as we assume it is.
“You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... the Twilight Zone.”
The year 1935, Edinburgh, Scotland, the witness to a paranormal phenomenon none other than the father of the British Royal Air Force, Victor Goddard, this particular incident involved what is known as a time-slip. These “slips” are defined when the present and past interlace with one another. Though, the event is usually unnoticed by the individuals residing in the “times of yore”.
Goddard’s case occurred while he was on route from Edinburgh, Scotland in his Hawker Hart biplane to Andover, England, where he was stationed at the time. Instead of taking a undeviating path to Andover, Victor decided to fly over an abandoned airfield in Drem, Scotland. The neglected airfield was overrun with foliage, the hangars decrepit and crumbling, bovines grazing where planes once stood.
Passing over the derelict airstrip, he suddenly encountered a peculiar storm, the powerful winds in these peculiar brown-yellow clouds caused Goddard to lose control of his craft. Scarcely averting a crash he discovered that his plane was headed in the opposite direction.As abruptly as it began, the storm ended, leaving him sporadically blinking in the brilliant sunlight. Flying above the forsaken field once again, he was astonished to discover it was no longer so forlorn. Previously dilapidated hangers looked like new, four planes sat idly on the strip, three models familiar, their paintjob foreign (colored in a bright yellow). The fourth plane was a monoplane, which the RAF (Royal Air Force) lacked. Mechanics were garbed in bright blue overalls though the RAF’s wore brown.Evacuating the unfamiliar sight, Goddard again encountered the curious cumulonimbus formation, but eventually managed his return to Andover. Four years proceeding Victor’s paranormal incident, the Royal Air Force began painting their planes yellow, and enlisted the very model he had witnessed, a monoplane. That same year, the mechanics’ uniforms were changed to the electric blue of his vision. Somehow he had achieved the inexplicable, Goddard had traveled, albeit briefly, four years into the future.Perhaps time isn’t as constant as we’re lead to believe it is; perhaps the past, present, and future coexists on the same plane. Even supposedly genius scientists, such as Albert Einstein insisted that time was hardly as stable as we assume it is.
“You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... the Twilight Zone.”
The pro about your story is that you added logos into it and made it more believable to your readers. The word choice you choose are good because they weren't just any regular simple words or phrase. I kind of got lost at the begining because I had no clue what it was about also because I have never heard of your title before so that was catchy. After reading your story the begining made a lot more sense.
ReplyDeleteLogos, Check. Ethos, check. Pathos, check. Everything Aristotle talked about was true in your tale. Your story was good, but a small slipup is in the text. You said that four years prior to the apparition, everything was changed, but then you said he went to the future for four seconds. It doesn't make sense if you talk about the past and the future in one reference. Other than that, your story was good
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job of setting the scene with your background information. You appeal to the readers very logically, using logos, and this makes you a credible, trustworthy source. I thought that your descriptive also created an emotional appeal, because we could comprehend exactly what was going on. Your use of history also creates an appeal to the readers because it is something that we can relate to in history. I think that you did a great job utilizing Aristotle’s Appeals to Audiences in this paper, and used each of the three appeals multiple times. I also liked how you ended your essay similar to how you began.
ReplyDeleteThe facts in your stories were excellent. Your word choice was perfect for the mood you were trying to set in the tale, not too scary but just eerie enough to keep me interested. Although I was a bit lost in the beginning, I understood what you were trying to say by the end. I liked the amount of detail that you added,they made your story more realistic because the details were not in your story just to make it longer but actually to provide background to it! You really knew what you were talking about here and it shows! Good Job! P.s I like your Title too!
ReplyDeleteYour vocabulary choice is very good. I got lost somewhere in the beginning because it was a total change after reading all the other stories. Each one told what the story was but yours jumped right into action. I like that. Good job.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story for it gave direct facts, along with providing the reader with a mental picture. However, in my opinion the story seemed rushed, almost like you were wanting the story to end quickly. I recommend trying to make the story flow more. In the end though, this was an entertaining story with a great title.
ReplyDeleteYour use of language in this is phenomenal. It gripped me to read about these typed of planes, and the extent on which "time" could ultimately just be a man made idea. It was very informative, giving background on the Royal Air Force and description of the event that was occurring to the man. It could be true that somewhere in time, levels and ultimately 'planes' could intersect and coexist. Definitely an interesting read.
ReplyDeleteThe choice of words that you chose to use in your story are wonderful, Zach! I enjoy reading it although I was kinda lost in the beginning but after awhile keep on reading your story, it makes more sense! You used a lot of facts and evidences which are appeal to the readers logically and let us know that you are credible which then make your story more believable.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story, I have always been interested in time travel. The words you used and the way your sentences flowed was amazing it really painted a picture in my mind. I also couldnt stop thinking about the bermuda triangle. I believed this story because you brought up points that could fight this but insisted that this was a different thing calling it a time-split.
ReplyDeleteI like your concept, everyone is waiting for the day we can actually travel in time! It reminded me of Steven Hawking and his genius theory of time travel.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-1269288/STEPHEN-HAWKING-How-build-time-machine.html
But great vocabulary, great word use, you did a nice job on this paper.
There were great word choices in your story that made it better. I was really confused while reading the story, but I did catch out towards the end. In my opinion there are way too many descriptions being thrown out at once. Which makes the story harder to comprehend. Explaining what H.G. might help me out a bit. Talking about "Twilight Zone" made your story more understandable and credible and logical because I believe in some of the things that are in "Twilight Zone".
ReplyDeleteWow! Could this possibly have been not an instance of time travel, but inter-dimensionary travel? That being to a dimension where the uniforms had been blue all along? This gets you thinking about what we take for granted as the fabric of our reality! Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteGreat story I like how you started the beginning it grab my attention. I like how you make readers wonder about the time travel and dimensions. I like how you brought up the Twilight Zone readers are familiar with that and can relate. I like the way you used your words nice story.
ReplyDeleteNow im quite a very big fan of the twilight zone, and have seen many episodes, and this seems very, very similar to one particular episode ive seen titled "The Last Flight," where a man flies through a strange cloud and ends up in the future. The man then flies back and appears out of no where back in regular time. All that aside your story is interesting and does appeal to the reader by referencing a very famous show.
ReplyDeleteI like how the tone you wrote your story in is different. You had great word choices and descriptions. I especially like how you said to “leave our preconceived notions and skepticism at the door” before going on with your story. At first I got lost in what the it was about because connecting it to the twilight zone didn’t help too much since I am one of the few who haven’t read or seen the ‘Twilight Zone’. Good job though!
ReplyDeleteI like this story a lot. It was very interesting and kept my attention through out the entire thing. Really good job. I like all the description you have when describing the air field originally, it made it very easy to visualize.
ReplyDeleteThe way you began your story was really interesting and although I'm not too familiar with the Twilight Zone, I really enjoyed you tying it in to your introduction to set the stage for the fact that your story was considerably unique in comparison to many of the other stories. That aside, your knowledge about the topic from the airplanes to the minute details, shown specifically through your fantastic word choice, really made you seem like a credible source.
ReplyDeleteThis story was great! The vocabulary was outstanding too! Ha, it kinda made me looked a few of them up though...
ReplyDeleteYour story made me think of time travel and how weird and stuff it can be and such. I like the quote at the end as well.
Your story was defiantly strengthened by ethos, pathos, and logos. It was a really good story and had a lot of good detail. Also your word choice was great! It was a really interesting story and the organization and flow of sentences was good. Really well constructed! Gives the reader something to think about... is time travel real!?
ReplyDeleteThis story was very interesting but somewhat confusing, maybe just to me. You used very good word choice and good descriptive words. I could easily see the setting, which you described very well. The idea of your story is very creative and made me think. You are a talented writer.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all let me just say your usage of words was fantastic. I am not into the time travel thing personally but I though you wrote this very well. you had the pathos, ethos, and logs, all playing their parts and that was really good.
ReplyDeleteTime travel! What else needs to be said! Is it possible? I believe yes because knowing they would change uniforms in the future like he saw could have been a really good guess or he actually traveled to the future! But great story especially on the word choice because it gave a great image!
ReplyDeleteI like the title, and your stories were excellent. Your word choice was perfect for the mood which made me interested. The last paragraph is kinda too long,but it strengthened the appeal to logos. Good job!
ReplyDelete