One day a girl at the age of twelve came to her home ill and in need of help. She had just become pregnant. Her mother took her to the local clinic where they could not help her with the medicines they had. It was concluded that she was going to die in the following weeks. Coming from the uptown of Gambella, the young girl’s mother had never herd about Nuka before, until a friend told her about him. In hopes of saving her beloved daughter her mother took her to see Nuka. Assessing the girl's conditions, he gave the girl water that he had gotten from a natural spring in his back yard. He told the mother that she would get better within one week, and that the young girl would give birth to a healthy baby girl. The mother was in disbelief that he didn’t do anything else for her daughter; she was convinced that her daughter was going to die. In the flowing weeks, the girl was healed and gave birth to a healthy baby girl, just as Nuka had predicted.
The mother praised Nuka, and told him that he truly had the power of god’s hands. The baby was named after Nuka, and was called the miracle baby of Nuka. As days grow into months and as months grew into years. Nuka grow old, and the village people did not notice. The night that Nuka fell ill, the animal cried all night, and the village people were in inquiry of what was going on. The next morning the Nuka was found dead.
As the tale was later on told, it was said that the girls baby that was healed by Nuka was had inherited his healing powers and later on carried on his legacy of helping the people of her village. Nuka was never dead to the village people, but was celebrated for his power to give his people a new chance at life.
At the top of the paper you have a lot of things there, it's better if you just have the title, your name, the professor, and date and it'll make your paper look more organized. Other than that your story was different from the others that I've read because it was scary, it was actually something happy. When I think of ghost stories I think of horror, but your story brought a different side to horror which was peace and happiness. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story! It wasn't a scary story, but more of a myth that gets told over an over. It was very easy to read, and I was attentive to the story the whole way through. There were a few spelling error (ones that spellcheck won't catch), but overall it was written very nicely!Perhaps a bit more detail, such as in the beginning when you are first introducing Nuka, would make the story seem a bit more realistic. But other than that I thought your story seemed pretty real and it was fun to read!
ReplyDeleteGreat story, some correctable grammatical errors, but the story was not only interesting, but amazing at the same time. Exceptional work!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting story, and I think that your use of descriptive language was one of the strong-points that made this believable. You appealed to your readers emotionally by using pathos to describe what exactly was occurring. By saying “it was told”, this makes your argument seem believable, as well as the fact that it was based on an ancient legend. You give your readers something to relate to by saying that it occurred in Ethiopia, so the readers can picture the setting in their minds even before the story begins.
ReplyDeleteYou had a little grammar errors but despite of that, your story was very interesting. It set a good image and the story was told very smooth. Feels like I've read a similar story before that makes me feel like its not believable. But other then that, you did a good job telling the story. Good job!
ReplyDeleteVery powerful! It is refreshing to see such a good character as Nuka in a story. Some more info of what the baby Nuka saved did later in life would be welcome and present a stronger argument.
ReplyDeleteI love stories like these with a likable character. It was nice to know how Nuka was relatable to a variety of individuals, for he helped everyone not just certain individuals. When I read stories like these it keeps me wondering and makes me want to figure out more about Nuka and what he truly stands for.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! It really kept my attention and made me want to keep reading. You were able to get me to believe that maybe this could really happen, and in some cases I have heard other stories where this has happened. You did a really good job! You have a couple grammatical errors but nothing too bad! I Think the characters were really good, even though it was a short story you were able to make Nuka out to be a great person and made him leave a good impression!
ReplyDeleteLove this story! It almost makes it seem like a "feel-good story", as the baby lives and goes on to practice what the Nuka did. I really enjoyed how it worked together. It grabbed me from the beginning, and it made me think. That is what I think is important; that it makes one think and ponder on the possibility of the Nuka actually having healing powers. There were a few grammar errors, but overall, really good tale!
ReplyDeleteI liked this story it had a rather happy ending. there were a very grammatical errors but nothing to big. I had a warm feeling in my heart through out the story. So way to appeal to pathos! I think it was helpful to your argument about having knowledge of the place and a bit of background on Nuka.
ReplyDeleteThat was refreshing, I wish I knew somebody like that! This is an interesting story, and I like the vibe I get off of it. Great job starting off giving background information about Nuka, it set a good base for you to tell the story. I feel you appealed to my emotions a lot with this one, which is the most catching appeal. I would go back and edit one more time, I saw a few misplaced words that could have been easily missed. Reading it aloud helps with catching those sneaky stray words. Other than that, I love it!
ReplyDeleteNice story. The beginning started of really smooth, and the way you placed all the information in the beginning was played well. I like that you had the setting in Africa. That helped your story become more believable with the spiritual powers of the man, because that is commonly heard of over there. The information of man's background was helpful and had strong points in your story. Your word choice throughout the story was strong, but in the second paragraph the words were a little mixed up. Your story was different and a good one.
ReplyDeleteLike some others said, there are grammatical errors that stick out. Like the word "herd". The ending was also confusing when you said that the baby was named after Nuka, then you said Nuka grew older and died. I'm uncertain which Nuka died, but I'm assuming the older one. There's not much I can relate to in this story, but I like the idea of it. I didn't find much credibility in there either.
ReplyDeleteThere's some grammatical errors. Maybe you should start a new paragraph after the mother took her daughter to go see Nuka. There's like too much in that paragraph. "Assessing the girl's conditions..." and the following, should be it's own paragraph
ReplyDeleteVery good story! Took me a second to get into it, but once i was i enjoyed it! I can not relate to it what so ever and have a hard time believing it, but none the less you did a good job keeping it interesting!
ReplyDeleteGreat story, Neima! The setting of this story which was in Africa made this story more believable because I've also heard some "unexplained" stories from over there too! And also your strong descriptive word choices make the story more acceptable. This story can relate ethically to other readers who had been to Ethiopia before.
ReplyDeleteThis was a fascinating story to read. Seem very supernatural. I like all the description you have for where he go his remedies from and fine detail like that. It was a really good paper and very easy to read through.
ReplyDeleteThe historical background information you provided really helped to make this story more believable. Instead of vaguely describing what exactly a "Nuka" is, you provided the religious backdrop appealing thoroughly to ethos. In other words you seem to be a credible source.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you introduced your story. I was intrigued to read on and learn about what is going to happen. Nuka sounds like a very nice character; I like how helpful he was. Though toward the end of your story when you were talking about the girl’s baby being named Nuka and the Nuka who had dad, I got confused on which one you were talking about.
ReplyDelete* Nuka who had died, (not dad, sorry haha..)
ReplyDeleteThis story was very memorable, not only because of the great detail and uniqueness, but because it had a happy ending! You did a great job filling us in with the background information and making the story believable.
ReplyDeleteYour story was very descriptive and I could visualize what you were talking about easily. This very much seems like a true event. The story was very interesting and kept me wanting to read. I liked the names that you used for the characters. They seem like real village names and made the story more believable. Your story was confident and I really enjoyed reading it. It was pretty simple and short and was easy to understand.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteStories that are passed down from generation to generation and originate from certain tribal regions are always interesting. The fact that these stories are so old also allows the reader to wonder for themselves if this truly happened. Your wordage was descriptive and easy to read, these things made the story enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteOut of all the stories I've read, you're was part one of I think three who chose to write an unusual as opposed to strange story. Since it appeared more as a myth to me, probably since it took place so far away but also the detail of how the story was passed on "from generation to generation." Since I think myths, as opposed to legends, are based on a thread of truth I do speculate that your story is true but how you set it up didn't seem to make it without a doubt 100% true.
ReplyDeleteI like this story because it was a villages god almost. The person who saved them from disease and educated the people. After I read that i got the persona of Jesus in a way because he fed the poor. He had followers for his new belief of his father god. The only thing that makes me not believe it is that villages and towns surrounding this phenomenon didn't know anything about this making it loose its credibility.
ReplyDeleteI really like your story. It painted a whole picture in my head. It's easy to follow. You used great word choices and descriptive language. This story is quite strange to me actually but it's believable. Nice work!
ReplyDelete