Talking to the Deceased - Lisa Lor

It’s been a tradition for many many years that Shaman people have a sixth sense. For those who are sixth sensed can talk to dead spirits; good or evil. The shaman can see what is wrong and how the sick person got ill. But not everyone gets to become a shaman; they must be chosen by the spirits to become an intermediary between the spiritual realm and physical world. In Hmong shamanism, a shaman can be a man or a woman. Typically, there is a strong chance for an individual to become a shaman if their family history contains shamans. This is due to the belief that ancestral spirits, including the spirits of shamans, are reincarnated into the same family tree.



I remember I was 10 years old and my uncle had just passed away. Not too long after that, my dad started getting sick. He was always going in and out of the hospital. He would go into the hospital at least three of four times a month. At the beginning his sickness wasn’t that bad. But soon enough, his sickness got worse and worse.

It was always me who would sleep in the hospital with him. It was a weekend in 2003 during the ending of fall. My dad had been in the hospital for about a week. Before my mom came to visit, she had called a shaman to “look” at my dad and see why he was so sick and why was he getting worse and worse. It was around 6 in the evening when my mom came. Before my mom arrived, my uncle and aunt had come to visit. My mom came in and fed my dad like usual. My uncle and my dad talked as my aunt and my mom talked.

I remember my aunt saying, “Have you found out what the Shaman said?”

My mom started to cry a bit as she replied, “She said that the reason why he’s so sick is because there’s a little boy and a little girl holding on to both of his hands and they won’t let go. That’s the reason why he’s so sick.”

After my mom had told my aunt the fact, my aunt tried to cheer my mom up by saying “it’s okay.” That following Sunday night, my dad had come home. Like usual, I would go to school just like the rest of my siblings. The same routine continued with my dad going in and out of the hospital until the end of November.

Exactly how I remember, it was November; we were at home like a happy family. Nothing was wrong, and we all just went to bed like we normally do. Go to sleep and wake up for the next day. But in the middle of the night, around 1:00 a.m. my mom came into the room and yelled, “LISA! HURRY! CALL YOUR UNCLE THEN THE POLICE! DAD CAN’T HEAR! HE CAN’T REMEMBER!” and ran back into her room. I got up in a flash after hearing her say that and ran to the telephone. As I was running to the telephone, I can hear my mom calling out for my dad. I called my uncle and told him and then called the police. The ambulance came and took my dad to the emergency room. All of us kids stayed home while my mom went to the hospital. She came home and took us to school. A week later, he was taken off life support. A couple days later, he passed away.

We did the funeral, accepted the fact, and moved on with our lives. A few months later, my mom called the shaman lady and asked if she could see if my dad had "left" to go get reborn. The shaman lady came over around about 9 in the morning and did the ritual for about half of that day. After she was done, she turned to my mom and asked, “Did your husband come visit you after you did the funeral?”

My mom replied, “Yes he came to visit me and told me to go with him.”

“What did you say to him?”

“I told him that I couldn’t go with him because I still had the kids and if I go no one is going to love them and watch them.”

Finally, the shaman lady said, “I went to find him and asked him some questions. He said that he didn’t want to leave. He told me that he came back for you but you told him to go on ahead first because you still had the kids to take of for they are still way too young to care for themselves. So he said he has just finally decided to go on ahead.”