A close friend of mine recently told me about some experiences he had while housesitting for his girlfriend’s family. The events, which had occurred, had left him very uneasy and made him afraid to even stay in the house alone for another night. This was very surprising to me since he had always been the fearless one.
It all started at the beginning of the night when he walked outside to take care of their lamas for the night. When he walked back in, he noticed that three of the photos had fallen over from one of the shelves. At the time he just assumed one of the cats had climbed up and knocked them over when walking by. So he placed the pictures back on the shelf and didn’t think twice of it.
Later on that night he was watching TV when all the lights in house turned off. His first thought was that it was a power outage until he realized that the TV was still on. He went to investigate the issue and saw that all the switches were turned off. This is what made him first feel on edge.
The rest of the night went on without any other strange events until he went up to bed. He was staying in the parent’s bedroom, which was on the top floor of the house. This was also where the air conditioner was so it was always the coldest room. But after he went to sleep, he woke up because it was so cold he could see his breath and even with three blankets on he was freezing. When he got up to turn off the AC off he realized the door had somehow opened. Thinking of the earlier events he was a little frightened at this, but knowing that he had work in the morning he just shut the door and went back to sleep. Not too much later he awoke again freezing and once again noticed the door had somehow opened. This time after shutting it he locked the door and went back to sleep. He awoke yet again but this time to a loud crash in kitchen below. He got out of bed to go see what had happened and once again the door was open. When he got down to the kitchen he saw a large cookbook that had somehow fallen off the shelf and landed on the floor. He had work in four hours so he just placed the book back and returned to bed. This time he not only locked the door but moved a chair in front of it to make it so there was no way to open the door from the outside. After falling back asleep he woke yet again to see the chair knocked over and the door open. He looked around the room and to the left of the door he saw a shadow of what looked like a small person. When he saw it he was instantly paralyzed and could not move. His heart started pounding and he had severe cold sweats. Three minutes later, but to him what felt like hours, the shadow disappeared and he could finally move again. He didn’t sleep the rest of the night and went to work an hour early just to get away.
When the family returned he explained to them the unusual event that had happened trying to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal. His girlfriend’s mom was amazed and said that she had had similar experiences on two different occasions and that he was the first one to take her serious. After hearing this he was even more intrigued about the incident and did a little research. He found that this type of ghost is called dark entities and is the most common of all ghost encounters. They tend to almost always occur in the dark and have been described as having a paralyzing affect on those who look upon them. They are said to be harmless but can torment the people around them.
Oh my god that was scary! I don't think I can sleep tonight. Your story was very interesting it caught my attention to keep on reading with out getting bored so good job! It was even more believable when you did research on it and when her mom said that she also encounted simaliar things as well. I couldn't find much wrong with your paper except minor stuff like adding a comma here and there and that was it.
ReplyDeleteYeesh!! Spinechilling and scary all at once. I don't think I will be able to sleep either. That is Steven King quality work. Way to go.
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job of setting the scene, because we can all relate to house-sitting, of helping take care of someone’s house. The fact that you said that you did additional research after hearing this story helps to appeal logically to the readers because it shows that you are probably a credible source. This uses logos to convince your readers that we should believe you. We also have a good understanding of the situation because all of us know how different things seem in the dark, and how certain circumstances seem so much more intense at night or in the dark.
ReplyDeleteAHH! Paranormal Activity!! I am so greatful that nothing like this has happened to me house-sitting before! I really enjoyed reading your story!! I thought that your word choice for this story was perfect. The small details you added about what type of book fell, and what he was doing outside of the house before and where he was sleeping made the story more realistic because it seemed like he was actually telling us about it (after he got less freaked out that is =p). I thought the part in the beginning about him being the fearless one really drew me in, because I was intrigued about what could shake a person like that. There were a few grammatical errors, but other than that I thought it was a very well written story and I enjoyed reading it! Great job!!
ReplyDeleteO.M.G I can't believe your friend could stay in that house for that long. If I was him, I would jump out of the house right after the TV event. Anyhow, you did a really good job. The story with full descriptive information has made me feel like watching a scary movie. You made it more believable when his girlfriend's mom also admits the same experiences.
ReplyDeleteThe story is relatable because there have been plenty of times where someone has stayed in a house they are unfamiliar with or have just been home alone while some odd events occurred after that. The ending of your story made these events very believable, by incorporating facts with what many would believe is fiction. This was a fun easy read and the content flowed perfectly.
ReplyDeleteWow, wonderful job! At first, I think this was just another chapter of Paranormal Activity but then when I read it further down, where there are lots of full descriptive information, and the fact that the mom has the same experiences and your friend did some research on it which I can relate to, make me believe your story more. Your story appeal to me and other readers as it shows that you are a credible resource.
ReplyDeleteI have experienced events like this, so I can completely relate. I liked your introduction, but I would limit on the different descriptions of events that took place. However, I really thought your conclusion was well summed up because you explained what could have taken place. Giving the explanation, gives it that much more credibility.
ReplyDeleteOh man, reminds me of the movies "Paranormal Activity" 1 and 2 and "Paranormal Entity". Not going to lie, I was pretty scared of that movie. I liked how the story got right into some action already. Made me want to continue. Something that brought down the pathos of this story was how the guy reacted to it. I understand that he "quite the fearless one" but, damn, was he really not scared after the first few signs of it? That brought down the credibility of it being a completely true story just a little for me. I enjoyed reading this one though.
ReplyDeleteScary! I like that you set this up like a traditional ghost story: "It all started when...", and something little happens, and things get progressively weirder and weirder. It appeals to the knowledge of horror stories we have in our culture. Good job!
ReplyDeleteGreat story it seemed very real. The thought of house sitting and weird stuff happening to you is a good story because i always think of that happening to me. The way you set up the story made readers believe it and relate to it more, logos was used. Also ending the story with the mom saying weird stuff happened to her helped out more with the story nice job.
ReplyDeleteOh geez! >.< That's a mega freaky story. I can't believe your friend could keep falling back asleep even though he had work in the morning. You story has credibility since you mentioned that he was fearless. I would be scared to even check to see what fell in the kitchen. I think adding that detail was a great example of how fearless your friend is.
ReplyDeleteWith the fact that your friend had been known as the brave one, since even he was frightened helped convince me especially with his multiple attempts to lock the bedroom door even with the chair that something supernatural was in the house even before he saw the shadow.
ReplyDeleteDang that was some story. I enjoyed reading it because I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. This story really made me feel different emotions. Good appeal to pathos. The last paragraph also strengthened the appeal to logos because it seemed like your friend did his research after the encounter.
ReplyDeleteI like that you, as the writer, stayed skeptical at the beginning by saying he was always the "fearless one". I feel like that gave you a lot of credit toward the argument. I can only imagine what I would do if that happened to me, which would be me freezing just like the character in your story! Scary stuff, good paper.
ReplyDeleteIt's good that you and the mom had similar experiences which of course strengthens ethos, since no one took the mother serious about her experiences which she encountered twice.
ReplyDeleteAs the narrator to this tale, I connected with you due to the fact that you appeared slightly cynical during the introduction. The fact that your friend didn't leave his encounter open-ended and chose to follow up with some research really appealed strongly to both logos and ethos (in my opinion).
ReplyDeleteWow that was scary! I house sit for someone right now and now im scared to go back!!!! You definitely strengthened ethos with your descriptions of the occurrences. Also I liked that instead of the family thinking your friend was crazy someone actually believed him, it made it more realistic. Good job setting up the character too! Your "fearless" friend was scared so it makes me scared too. Really good paper. Good conclusion explaining what type of ghost it may have been.
ReplyDeleteYou did an exceptional job explaining and describing the events that played out. I felt like I was watching a movie. It might have been a little more interesting/believable to read if you went into a little more detail about the emotions the man was feeling throughout. I liked the events that occurred because they involve household objet likes pictures and everyone can imagine how scary it would be to experience that!
ReplyDeleteThis story was so spooky!!!! I loved it! I was interested the whole time and enjoyed the imagery. You also made it credible by your friend relating to the mother and their similar encounters. Your story was overall great and had good details and was made believable because of the research done in the last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting story, and very creepy. This reminds me of the time I went up to the mountains in 5th grade with my classmates, and our teachers told us a ghost story of how a little girl died in the bathroom of the lodge we were in, and that if we went to the bathroom at night then we will be able to have an encounter with her somehow. Over all you had a lot of details in your story and I really liked it.
ReplyDeleteGood story! I like how you researched it giving us evidence. So that right there makes me lean towards believing it! Also your detail was good that it kept my attention as the reader!
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